Alexander Tan – 50th Reunion Essay

Alexander Tan

440 Lakeview Road

Pasadena, CA 91105

alectanarch@gmail.com

626-484-6060

Spouse(s): Ellen Hartfield Tan (1973, 44 years)

Child(ren): Nicholas (1977); Megan (1980)

Grandchild(ren): Julian (2012); Kaya (2013); Rose (2014); Nico (2017)

Education: Yale, BA, 1969; UCLA, MArch, 1976

National Service: Ltjg, US Navy, ’69–’72

Career: Principal Architect, Alexander P. Tan Architects for 25 years; Senior Architect, ML Architecture, 10 years

Avocations: Model Railroading

College: Jonathan Edwards

It seems all too familiar. Just like fifty years ago, even with a Dean’s excuse I’m fighting to turn in my reunion essay before the deadline. Except at my age I can’t pull another all-nighter like I used to. Seriously, this has been a chronic problem for me, hitting deadlines. It drives my wife Ellen crazy. Some of you know she’s a professional therapist, so I’ve gotten plenty of analysis, good-natured (usually) advice, and direction about dealing with it. Turns out that an unstructured childhood with well-meaning but absent parents (in the Chinese restaurant business), number one son entitlement issues, and several other complexities are behind it. But I digress.

This essay assignment does provide the opportunity to take a break and reflect on the things that are important. My first thought was to retrieve the 25th class book and recall what I said back then. Rereading it, I realize that priorities change with the passage of time.

The most recent and memorable life changing event occurred on a trip that we took to Israel last month. Ellen is a life-long Catholic (grade school, high school, college). According to her, when she was a kid in parochial school they used to donate for the unbaptized (like me) “pagan babies.” As we visited and celebrated daily Masses at all these biblical sites in Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Cana, the Sea of Galilee, and elsewhere, I was touched in a way I could not foresee. After some deep contemplation, I made a personal decision that stunned Ellen. So, on March 10, 2018, I got baptized in the Holy Land. Rumor has it that someone in our group actually captured a picture of a dove flying above just as I got doused in the River Jordan.

Another important life event is the experience of becoming a grandparent (now four times over, two boys, two girls). Before it happened, people would ask me if I was looking forward to becoming a grandpa. My response was “Yeah, I guess so.” How far off was that? It’s such a transformative experience. Exhausting when they come for a weekend, but the pure joy is infectious. My indoor and outdoor model railroads are a big hit when they visit and I’m planning to retire from full time work as an architect at the end of this year to spend more time with the grandkids.

The best part for me though is being married to Ellen. Looking back over the past 45 years together, we are both continually amazed at our good fortune of having met and the blessings we’ve been given.

As for Yale, I’ve lost touch with most classmates, but have managed to stay in contact with a few. We’ve seen Steve and Bern Holahan over the years when we travel back east. Had a great time sharing with Steve the hockey team’s successes (who could have predicted the 2013 NCAA championship?) in recent years. I also periodically hear from Tom Guterbock, a fellow Chicago south sider (we celebrated when the White Sox won the 2005 World Series). A couple of days ago, Hal Valeche contacted me. So even though the Reunion is a year away I’m looking forward to coming back to New Haven to reconnect.