John Nelson – A Remembrance

I was surprised and saddened to learn of the death of John Nelson.  At the 50^th Reunion, I was with John on the Yale golf course and at the dinner table.  Others have said that John told them of his cancer, but he never said anything of the sort to me.  He was the same John Nelson that I’ve known since freshman year – overly good-looking, athletic, intellectually sharp.

John and I were in the same Bingham Hall entryway freshman year, and our residential college was to be J.E.  Others in our group included Ted Van Dyke, Steve Haworth, Wayne Willis, Frank Aronson, Eric Lenck and Buddy Gans.  We have managed to stay in touch over the many years since graduation.

John was a great athlete.  He was the quarterback on our Spiders football team and a very good tennis player.  I think he could have excelled in any sport.  He looked like a “Greek God” with golden locks of hair and sharp, colorful eyes.  I was envious.

While undergrads, several of our group developed significant relationships with members of the opposite sex.  In John’s case, her name was Kim.  She was a Wellesley student and, like John, a visual knockout.  A great catch!  They were together constantly as we inched toward graduation day, and they ultimately married.

Several years went by, and I heard that John and Kim had gotten involved in a religious group unfamiliar to me.  I was told that they had become Zen worshippers and had moved into some sort of community that practiced Zen.  I was not surprised with this news, as I had always considered John to be unconventional of sorts with his thought processes.  At that point, I had no idea if I would ever see or communicate with John again, as I had no interest in taking up Zen.

A short time after our 30^th Reunion, Will Bogaty solicited our class to form a Class Council – similar to what was done at our 50^th.  Will set up a dinner at the Yale Club in New York City.  I attended the dinner and agreed to join the council.  Another attendee was George Chopivsky, and George became our Class Secretary.

Later that year, George asked me to organize a few mini-reunions.  At that time, a Yalie known by many of us was elected President, to be inaugurated the following January.  Apparently back in Washington, D.C. after his Zen experience, John contacted me out of the blue and suggested we have one in Washington at inauguration time.   George was solicited to host a reception at his Georgetown home, and a great dinner party – lots of vodka and kielbasa – was held with several classmates in attendance.  We watched the inaugural parade from the law offices of a good friend of mine.  John, George and I were called the “Three Musketeers” for staging the mini-reunion.

When a report was published about the festivities (including photos of the three of us in obvious inebriation), I remember Harry Forsdick surfacing, openly lambasting the “festivities” and alleged political favoritism.  Hopefully, many of you remember all of this.  Great stuff!

As a result of the Washington event, John and I agreed to co-chair the 35^th reunion.  Since John was interested in organizing reunion panels and lectures, he was assigned that task, while I focused on the actual logistics – food and drink, golf and tennis outings, etc. – of the event.  One of John’s ideas was a memorial service for our deceased classmates.  It was a great success and has become a fixture at our reunions.  Another one of John’s ideas was not as successful – an open discussion on the “meaning of life” and overcoming hurdles along the way.  I remember commenting at the time that some of our classmates were as “full of shit” then as they were 35 years beforehand.

Next, John and I were requested – and agreed – to co-chair the 40^th Reunion.  Same allocation of responsibilities.  We were assigned to Jonathan Edwards College – our beloved J.E. – for the reunion.  John personally solicited our J.E. colleagues to attend, and the Spider contingent was larger than that of any other residential college.  Sensing this would happen, John had gotten a commitment from George Chopivsky for the use by the winning residential college of his incredible home on St. Croix for a long weekend.  The old Bingham Hall entryway group gathered there for a great weekend of water sports, golf, boat tours and, of course, eating and drinking.  John was responsible for making all the arrangements.

John and I, as co-chairs, were offered use of a private apartment at J.E. for lodging during the reunion.  John told me to use it, as he wanted to return to his senior year room with Kim and essentially replicate what they experienced 50 years before.

We had periodic contact after the 40^th and, as mentioned above, shared time at the 50^th.  I had no communication with John after the reunion, and I had no idea that he was battling cancer.  His death unfortunately closes a chapter in my life that I will always remember fondly.