Louis J. Heifetz, PhD – 50th Reunion Essay

Louis J. Heifetz, PhD

530 Division Street

East Greenwich RI 02818-2037

ljheifetz@uri.edu

(H) 401-885-9041; (C) 401-919-0927

Spouse(s): Benita A. Blachman, PhD (1973 – 1993); Joanne Eichinger, PhD (1995–present).

Education: Yale, BA (Psychology), 1969; Harvard, PhD (Clinical Psychology and Public Practice), 1974.

Career: Behavioral Education Projects (Cambridge MA), 1971-1973, applied clinical researcher; Yale Psychology Dept., 1973-1977, Lecturer/Assistant Professor; Syracuse Univ. School of Education, 1978-1998, Associate/Full Professor; Fulbright Scholar (Singapore’ s National Institute of Education), 1985; Univ. of RI School of Education, 1998-2008, Professor (Emeritus).

Avocations: Meals-on-Wheels volunteer; patient escort at Planned Parenthood.

College: Trumbull

Research and Professional Interests

Behavioral approaches to developmental disabilities. Clinical and community psychology perspectives on the analysis, design, and evaluation of service-delivery systems. Training parents, teachers, and other professionals, paraprofessionals, and nonprofessionals as therapeutic agents. The evolution of consumer-provider relationships in the human services, with emphasis on patterns of mutual socialization, including the creation of helplessness. Religious perspectives on disability (families, clergy, secular professionals, and congregations). Personal consequences of professional roles among teachers, clergy, residential-care staff, psychotherapists, and other practitioners. Sources of satisfaction and stress; the construct of burnout; correlates of social-role orientation (including androgyny) among human-service workers. Patterns and correlates of numeracy (mathematical literacy) among high school, undergraduate, and graduate students. Alternative strategies for teaching statistics and research methods in the social sciences.

Honors

2001: Designated as a Fellow of the American Association on Mental Retardation by the Board of Directors of AAMR.

The Fable of the ABD (All But Dissertation) Rabbit by Aesop Heifetz:

A fox was roaming the woods in search of food, when he spied a rabbit sitting on his haunches in front of his burrow, tapping on a personal computer. Instead of fleeing in panic, the rabbit just glanced at the fox and went back to his typing.

FOX: What are you writing, your last will and testament?

RABBIT: Don’t be insolent, my ignorant friend. This is my dissertation: “The contributions of fox meat to the metabolism of wild rabbits.”

FOX: You are insane, my little hors d’oeuvre. It is the fox who eats the rabbit.

RABBIT: That is a common misconception, which my research clearly refutes. Please come down to my lab and examine the data for yourself.

The skeptical fox followed the rabbit into his burrow. There was a sudden explosion of grass, dirt, and fox fur. The fox was never seen again.

The next day heard a similar conversation between the scholarly rabbit and a foraging weasel, who was told that the topic of the dissertation was: “The role of weasel muscle-fiber in reducing blood pressure in hypertensive rabbits.”

The dubious weasel, like the fox, followed the rabbit into the lab-burrow, where he met his own violent and untimely end.

One day later, the rabbit was confronted by a ravenous coyote, who learned that the research topic was: “Ceremonial uses of coyote sweetbreads in religious festivals of Eastern Orthodox rabbits.”

Angrily insisting upon examining the data for himself, the coyote went into the burrow. There he encountered an enormous grizzly bear, lounging on the bones of his victims, leisurely flossing weasel fur between his teeth. Grinning like William F. Buckley, Jr., the bear devoured the coyote.

MORAL OF THE FABLE: It does not matter what the topic of your dissertation is—or what your data suggest—or what the reviewers say at your dissertation defense—as long as you have the right advisor.